Yes, We Have No Bananas

With all the problems of the world, could it be that confusion over which bathroom to use will pull the last thread, finally unraveling our cultural fabric and sending us into revolution and anarchy? This is really not far-fetched. When the law of the land is that men with fully-functioning sex organs have the right to undress and shower with our daughters and granddaughters, we have a problem. At the root of this problem is perversion of language. The left says we are born, not with a physical sex, but rather with an (arbitrarily) assigned gender. They say this gender is not genetically innate, but is instead “fluid.” They then say that the state of being either a man or a woman is therefore fluid and can only be defined by each individual for himself or herself (or themself or itself). This redefinition of male and female completes the sleight-of-hand and precludes anyone from formulating any rules preventing sexual predation. What an amazing and effective deception! No one could do better, not even…Satan himself.

In order to oppose this evil, we must understand that this is a cultural attack. Successful cultures can be attacked and destroyed by replacing good cultural traits (hard work, honesty, mutual respect, etc.) with bad cultural traits (exploitative self-gratification, larceny, lack of respect for others, etc.). And in fact, that is precisely the direction of the orchestrated cultural revolution we are now experiencing. So, even though we should continue to seek redress of this grievance from those in authority, I don’t expect much help from that quarter. When the highest ranking general in the armed services regularly takes photo ops in a dress with his other high ranking officer buddies in their dresses, this may be a hint that we need to find a more effective solution.

I propose that the solution should be in the form of a counter-cultural attack. I propose we start a grassroots movement called the “Yes We Have No Bananas” movement, or just the “Bananas” movement. It would consist of people who lobby their local private and public organizations to change the signs on their bathrooms and dressing areas from “men” and “women” to “bananas” and “no bananas.” This would clear up the confusion of trying to sort out something that is ill-defined, fluid and confusing (even to senior level judges and justices) and replace it with a specific, objective, verifiable standard for determining which restroom to use. Now I know that there may be some men who are in the throes of gender dysphoria that might see this as undermining their status as a woman. However, I would gently admonish them, “Sweetheart, you can start using the women’s facilities almost immediately! Just schedule your Whackitoffamy as soon as possible and upon completion you can use what we will now call the ‘no bananas’ facilities from now on! Welcome to the no banana club!”